So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
