You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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