rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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