I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she looked like the before picture.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
