i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
