He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize