Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
