another moral hangover. fuck.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
