i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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