I wannas sexs uuuuu
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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