Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
