Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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