HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
