And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
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you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize