Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
