ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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