Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
