I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
