allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
