Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
