haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
love makes seman taste better
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
