He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize