didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
