So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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