Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
