ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
