do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
