Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
