there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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