Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
