so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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