is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
is it fun? or sober?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
