hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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