i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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