i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
