I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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