Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
