I can tuck mytits in my pants
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize