you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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