due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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