you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
