We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
