I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize