well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
