We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize