Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
