you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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