So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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