508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
