Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
