youre lurking in front of me
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
