We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
