last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
