she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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