I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
