i think i have two assholes
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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