I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
How does one acquire holy water?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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