VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
