You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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