I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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