This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
