You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
